greetings Archives - Learn2Communicate

Helping Children with ASD learn to greet others

Another Lesson Learned from Abroad

Children with ASD often have difficulty in interacting with others. They can find playing with other children quite challenging for a variety of reasons and participation in exchanges that go back and forth across multiple turns can be difficult.

Greetings are often the first step in those back and forth exchanges. All children but particularly those with ASD may really benefit from our support to learn this skill; a skill that so many of us take for granted.

Teaching children how, when and why to greet different communication partners can be the first step to help them develop more meaningful relationships with others.

Many of us with offer a friendly ‘hello’ as the first step in many of our interactions with others. It may be a nod of the head, a raised hand, or a smile as you pass someone on the street or in the hallway at work. It may be a more formal ‘Good afternoon…how are you’ as you greet a client in your waiting room or a ‘Hello….XXX speaking’ as you answer a phonecall. Your greeting may be an informal ‘Hey…how are you?’ going to a friend or colleague. Each generation seems to have different social rules and expectations around how to greet.

Yes, the ‘simple’ act of greeting is not so simple at all!

How does your child with ASD communicate?

Let’s start from a strengths base.

Is your child able to use spoken words?

Can your child use eye contact to communicate his or her interests?

Can your child use gestures or key word signs?

Does your child use an AAC device to communicate with others?

Is your child greeting others?

If so, who does your child greet?

When does your child greet people?

If not, who is your child most familiar with? Who does your child show a strong emotional connection to? What people in your child’s environment does he or she appear to be comfortable around?

3. What will I encourage my child to do and/or say to greet others?

We have identified how your child communicates?

If you are now wanting to encourage your child to start greeting others with greater success and frequency, start by modelling for them how you want them to do so. Make sure you choose a method and style of communication that is within your child’s toolbox. For example, if your child uses an AAC device, you can model how to use this device to say hello to people. Your child will watch and learn. If your child can use gestures, you can model how to wave and smile at people you greet. If your child can use spoken words, you can model how to wave and say ‘hello’. If your child prefers to give a High 5, then this is what you can model!

Choose moments and people when your child is well regulated emotionally. We want your child to feel good at these moments so that they associate greetings with moments of positivity and human connection.

Don’t pressure your child to […]

The importance of ‘Hello’

Lessons Learned from Abroad

I have recently returned from the trip of a life time; a long awaited trip to France to watch the Rugby World Cup with my husband and tour the south of France. It is the first time we have travelled abroad since having children many years ago so was very special for us both. I took quite some time off blogging whilst I was away and just soaked up as much as I could from being immersed in a different culture and language.

Not being at all proficient in the French language, I was interested to see first hand how powerful the simple act of saying ‘Hello’ was.

“Bonjour!” with a smile was the most important word for us to learn and use when travelling in France. I am guessing that it may be the most important communication starter in any language….

The simple act of being able to greet someone with a smile and word (be that verbal or non verbal) helps to offer warmth, positive connection and a start to any social interaction. We started with a greeting when interacting with Uber drivers, those in cafes and restaurants who were pouring our coffee or serving us our pastries and with those who passed us by on the street or at the various tourist locations we visited

Do we focus on teaching the social communication act of greetings with our children?

I am sure we do but I will be doing so now with far more gusto and intention than previously.

Why?

We managed to ‘get by’ with ‘Bonjour’ and ‘Merci’ as our only French words. These words started and ended many of our social interactions successfully and in a positive, warm manner.

Learning these simple, positive communication rituals early teaches children how to start a conversation with another human in an appropriate manner. Often when a child moves past ‘Hello’ , they start to feel more confident to engage. It certainly breaks down that first hurdle which is so important for our hesitant and less able communicators.

Saying ‘hello’ doesn’t have to be verbal. It can be communicated with eyes, hands (a wave) or even your body. If we positively interpret a child’s attempts to greet us in whichever way they are able to, we will encourage this behaviour to grow.

For those children who find that saying ‘hello’ feels awkward or uncomfortable, we can continue to model this when they are with us. Resist the urge to pressure your children to say ‘hello’ as we want them to associate greetings with positive emotions; not with angst or fear.

How can I teach ‘hello’?

You can start by making it your intention to explicitly model saying ‘hello’ to others when your child is in your presence. Use an animated voice and happy smiling face as you do so that your child is more likely to notice and learn from your modelling.

You can prompt your child to say ‘hello’ to others but start with those communication partners that your child […]